Wow! My mornings are always wonderful but as the day progresses I start to drown a bit. Mornings are filled with either cleaning, working out, or part-time work. I’m a speech therapist for children under the age of 3. It is the most rewarding job.. most days. Today was the best. My little kiddo was so excited to see me! She was laughing hysterically and shouting! Who wouldn’t love that to start off their day?
At lunch, I pick my 5 year old up from school and there begins my daily grind. My time is no longer my own, but who’s is, right? Everybody else has to work an 8-5 job. I shouldn’t complain. Still, at times I really don’t think I’m suited for this. Every day is an emotional battle. I work very hard to control myself and be a happy and kind person, but add three kids whining, pouting, complaining, debating, and making obnoxious noises to the mix and I’ve lost it. I’m down in “funky town” trying not to lose my mind. Funky town is that horrible place you go when you become some crazy person that looks nothing like you’re normal calm- cool self. You aren’t showered, hair is looking like buckwheat, mis-matched socks, and pajama pants (oops- I thought I changed those before I went out!) Anyways, from about 11:30-8:30 I just try to keep some sort of sanity so I don’t get taken away in a straight jacket kicking and screaming. Calgon take me away is an understatement!! The thoughts that enter my mind usually are: Why does this have to be my life? There must be some way out of this!!
Handling my children’s self-esteems and teaching them how to emotionally regulate so that they can be happy and functioning human beings is just too big of a responsibility and burden for me! It’s just too much pressure! Still, I signed up for this. There is no way out. I must choose to be happy. The alternative sucks!
So what is making me happy today- meditating. I found some great meditation CD’s at the old Borders bookstore many moons ago and still use them. You can also find some great you tube videos to help if you like or just pop in whatever music you prefer. I lit a candle, played my music and just breathed. I suggest putting a sign on your door so no one interrupts you. That is the key.
If you are taking 15-20 min. to yourself- It must be un-interrupted!! Put this sign up on your door and explain to your kids that if the door handle so much as twitches or if the door is touched there may be some very pleasurable things taken away from them.
I also took some time to pray. I am a member of a church prayer group in which we pray for certain people every day. It feels so great to pray for others. After, I say the prayer group intentions I read from an inspirational/prayer or devotional book. I love to do this because when it’s time for me to pray sometimes my mind goes blank, which is great for meditation but not so great for praying.
Here are some books that I am using right now:
Do you have any that you love ? Please share?