I am a fighter!!

rocky

I am a fighter.. well, I’m not sure I believe it entirely but in some small way I am a fighter.  I’m choosing to celebrate and acknowledge that today, especially since what I want to do is the complete opposite.  I want to stay in bed and never see the sun.. at least for a few days.  I’m hoping in sharing the small ways I am a fighter, you will also see that you are a fighter.

  1.  I persevered and completed college at a great University (not Ivy League), but pretty damn good- in my opinion.  I got in on basically academic probation. It was called FFP (aka Freshmen fuck up program, as known by all the students).  I ended up graduating with a high B average.  Not bad for a fuck up!!! Not honors but whatever.  No one walks around with their GPA on their forehead, it’s meaningless people.
  2. I did not get accepted into graduate school on my first try.  I decided not to let that stop me and I took a class to improve my GRE score while also taking and acing a graduate course.  I applied again and got into that graduate school!
  3. I have difficult clients and families to work with in my occupation, and I could easily change clients.  I stick with every difficult family, in hopes of learning something and/or winning them over.  I think in my 15 years of working, I’ve only missed the mark with one mom.  Well, that I know of anyways.
  4. I stopped working out for a year but I haven’t given up. I started working out again and even joined a gym to keep me motivated.  Hey even if it’s once a week it counts.  I will not give up again! My health and sanity are important to me! I want to be around to bug my kids for a lot longer! I want to be able to run with my grandchildren and swing them around!
  5. I keep trying out for plays and doing pretty well-for an amateur
  6. I am still married 🙂  Just kidding, if you’re reading this hubby!  I’m so lucky you choose to put up with me daily!
  7. I continue to make my children play piano, even though I’d rather they give it up.  It would save us all some headaches!
  8. I get out of bed every day!  So what if you wake up before 7 a.m.  That’s all semantics, anyways.  I get up before 9 a.m. and that’s all that matters.
  9. On bad days, I drink some coffee or alcohol (depends on how bad it is) and I tell myself tomorrow is another day to get it right.  Shake it off, sista!!
  10. I face my demons… well, maybe I perseverate on them- but there’s that semantics again!!  The point is, I eventually stuff them away.  Hey even if it’s for a week- It’s a victory!!
  11. When I look around and get overwhelmed, I call in reinforcement: cleaning lady, handyman, landscapers.  I can’t do this on my own!
  12. My house may be messy during the week, but come weekend it is usually showroom ready!!
  13. Everyday I feel so lonely and disconnected but I make myself go out there, smile, and talk to people.  I often invite people over to avoid this feeling.
  14. I am constantly re-evaluating myself and figuring out how I can change and improve myself.  I’m not going down without a fight!

SO now that I shared with you some of my accomplishments over my demons. In true people pleasing fashion, I will end by telling you what I struggle with. I can’t end this with you thinking that I love myself.  I’m not comfortable with pride-It’s actually a sin I hear.  Things I need to work on: worrying about things I can’t control, trying to please others, feelings of inadequacy, and vanity (my self worth is not determined by my looks).  The last one is the hardest thing to deal with in this selfie lovin’ world.  I wish I could just take one selfie that I’m happy with.  No not happening, close ups are no good.  Push that camera back a foot or two people.

Please tell me what makes you a fighter???

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